Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Asylum seekers have been smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself outside nursery schools.

Terror expert David Cameron has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself: The True Face Of Evil", David Cameron says, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for asylum seekers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.