The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of eating babies, all of them involving young single mothers.

In the glorious days of Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience eating babies, but nowadays thanks to young single mothers eating babies is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Waterboarding is not torture.