Now miners, bent on revenge are welcoming foreigners whilst elderly patients in the NHS still have to queue for years in blood spattered corridors.

Scroungers and misfits are allowed to terrorise our 4X4s whilst our police sit idly by. The only explanation can be that miners, bent on revenge are atheistic Trotskyite witches bent on the destruction of all we hold dear in this isle of ours for the benefit of their infernal overlord Beelzebub. Even their uniform of hoodies bears a striking resemblence to the witches of old.

How are we to rid our nation of these evil witches and warlocks?

Certainly not with holiday camp prisons and free love as the politically correct Whitehall bureaucrats want!

Our "Burn the Witch" campaign will rid the land of this evil using the only language they understand - fire. We intend to burn six miners, bent on revenge a week for the next year so that their evil souls may descend into the very pits of hell from whence they have slunk.

Speaking of the Daily Mail’s exclusive "Burn the witch" campaign, Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously said, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts."