The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields is becoming ever more common, then we learn that paedophiles are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack paedophiles pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was Boris Johnson who today said Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..