Now boffins have discovered that cyberterrorists can cause cancer as well as being, frankly, distasteful.

Docktawh Gillian Keith, speaking from her underground nutrition dome said, "Ever since The Pope told me about it, I have been trying to cure defacing statues in Trafalgar Square with a powerful mix of micronutrients, goji berries and spirulina."

She added "As it turns out defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is almost completely identical to cancer, in how it affects the balance of our chakras. And everybody knows that defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is mostly caused by cyberterrorists, who are known to promote a negative orgone balance in the red layer of the energy rainbow."

Of course liberal-minded multiculturalists will no doubt assume that comparing cyberterrorists to carcinogens is "racist", but they can’t deny the simple facts of the case. And the Mail is happy to back Gillian’s words; she gave us a fresh insight into Broken Britain by saying, "Make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".