The terror level was raised to beige today after MI5 said that they certainly had vague yet specific intelligence about a probable certain threat that might or might not occur or not occur under certain circumstances on British soil or abroad perhaps unless another thing that might be a threat if it were to happen which it might or might not but it definitely might.

The terror plot probably involved chavs who rumours have emerged have been involved in tweeting the Interwebs into cyberterror on the Facebooks since 1978.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium speaking from a hotel in Barbados said, "the day of the yob is upon us".