Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps have this week been revealed as plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Theresa May who this week said, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life is acceptable behaviour.