Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow young muslim men such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but young muslim men have this week been revealed as pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps young muslim men would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Bernard Jenkin who this week said, "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is acceptable behaviour.