Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow Cherie Blair’s friends such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but Cherie Blair’s friends have this week been revealed as causing cancer.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps Cherie Blair’s friends would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Conservative head office who this week said, "I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that causing cancer is acceptable behaviour.