Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of listening to loud music has been perpetrated by the politically correct Islington lefties.

The Mail can reveal that the politically correct Islington lefties are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jacob Rees-Mogg said of the the politically correct Islington lefties, "new Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims.".