Now boffins have discovered that so-called refugees can cause cancer as well as being, frankly, distasteful.

Docktawh Gillian Keith, speaking from her underground nutrition dome said, "Ever since Boris Johnson told me about it, I have been trying to cure selling drugs to schoolchildren for fun with a powerful mix of micronutrients, goji berries and spirulina."

She added "As it turns out selling drugs to schoolchildren for fun is almost completely identical to cancer, in how it affects the balance of our chakras. And everybody knows that selling drugs to schoolchildren for fun is mostly caused by so-called refugees, who are known to promote a negative orgone balance in the red layer of the energy rainbow."

Of course liberal-minded multiculturalists will no doubt assume that comparing so-called refugees to carcinogens is "racist", but they can’t deny the simple facts of the case. And the Mail is happy to back Gillian’s words; she gave us a fresh insight into Broken Britain by saying, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".