Charlie Harvey

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Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace have been defacing statues in Trafalgar Square outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Bernard Manning has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Defacing statues in Trafalgar Square: The True Face Of Evil", Bernard Manning says, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.

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