Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Glue-sniffing teenagers have been burning policemen at the stake outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Burning policemen at the stake: The True Face Of Evil", Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously says, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for glue-sniffing teenagers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.