Now Guardian-reading do-gooders are defacing statues in Trafalgar Square whilst elderly patients in the NHS still have to queue for years in blood spattered corridors.

Scroungers and misfits are allowed to terrorise our 4X4s whilst our police sit idly by. The only explanation can be that Guardian-reading do-gooders are atheistic Trotskyite witches bent on the destruction of all we hold dear in this isle of ours for the benefit of their infernal overlord Beelzebub. Even their uniform of hoodies bears a striking resemblence to the witches of old.

How are we to rid our nation of these evil witches and warlocks?

Certainly not with holiday camp prisons and free love as the politically correct Whitehall bureaucrats want!

Our "Burn the Witch" campaign will rid the land of this evil using the only language they understand - fire. We intend to burn six Guardian-reading do-gooders a week for the next year so that their evil souls may descend into the very pits of hell from whence they have slunk.

Speaking of the Daily Mail’s exclusive "Burn the witch" campaign, Paul Dacre said, "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense."