Hoody-wearing layabouts have been engaging in steamy sex romps the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

Conservative head office said of hoody-wearing layabouts, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it."

Hoody-wearing layabouts made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.